No matter the subject it as always as useful to know what NOT to do, as it is to know what to do. I'm here to tell you, I am uniquely qualified to tell you how NOT to attract desirable sexy women. Why? Because I spent dang near 10 years perfecting that art before I stopped doing what doesn't work, and started doing what DOES work.

So, today, we're going to talk about what NOT to do when it comes to attraction. This will give you a handy guide of things to avoid when interacting with any sexy woman.

First off, don't try to impress her by talking about yourself, how much money you make, the playoff game you won, etc., etc. Believe me, she's heard all that before, by men who are smarter, better looking, and more successful than you or I. Instead, ask her genuine, open-ended questions about herself, and pay close attention to her answers. Shut off the conversation in your own head, and pay attention to her--you'll be amazed at how this creates attraction.

Don't ask her if "you can take her out," or if she "has a boyfriend," or if you can "have her number." You're letting her define the relationship, which sexy women HATE. In addition, questions like these activate subconscious processes that lead to autopilot answers (like NO!). It's the same thing as a salesperson asking you, "Can I help you?" and you saying, "No thanks, just looking." Switch the question to, "What specifically are you looking for?" and you'll get a better answer--same thing when setting up a second meeting with the woman you're talking to. "Let's continue this conversation over coffee sometime," works a heck of a lot better than, "Can I take you out?"

Don't shower her with compliments about her beauty, looks, etc.

She's already heard it, and knows you're trying to "compliment your way into her pants." Treat her like a human being, ask her about her hopes, dreams, and desires from a place of genuine interest, not the ulterior motive of getting your hands on her. Although it sounds obvious, this is actually a very subtle shift in thinking for most men--she'll pick up on the fact that you're NOT lusting after her, when every other guy she's talked to that day is... and start to wonder what's different about you. Give her a "bad time in a good way," teasing her about her looks, what she says, etc.

Attraction is a give and take, it has a rhythm to it. Switch from sincere to teasing, and back again--it's this switching that creates attraction.

Don't ask her, "So where do you want to go?" Take the lead, and suggest several places--"Hey, let's go here... sound good to you?" is much better than the above question. If she doesn't want to go there, then ask her for suggestions. Believe it or not, this was a big breakthrough for me--I always thought sexy women would be offended if I did this, but turns out they really enjoy it.

Don't plan your life around her--live your own. This kills more relationships than probably anything else--women want to be with a strong guy, not a surrogate mommy to a little kid.

Again, a lot of these things are common sense, but as they say, common sense ain't so common. Most of us are socially conditioned to do the things I just mentioned, and we actively have to avoid them. I know I do--even with everything I know, I occasionally find myself slipping back into the above behaviors, and they lead to predictable results--the death of attraction.

John Alanis is hte creator of the "Women Approach You" attraction system, and also runs the website http://www.byegoodlover.com

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